Wednesday, February 18, 2009


i used to get offended when people called me "crafty." not "crafty" like, cunning and witty (though i have had those labels too) but "crafty" like creative. but they said crafty. not creative. one day someone called me crafty and my friend said "you're not crafty. you're creative." and i loved her. i don't know why, but "crafty" makes me itchy. it makes me think of ceramic duck wall plaques that say "Debbie's Kitchen." or it makes me think of bad 70's kitch. orange and brown macrame. glue guns. cinnamon sticks. dried flowers. scratch. see?! it's itchy! so i got all high and mighty because i paint. though i would never say i am a painter. but i paint on canvas with paints, not of the paint-by-number variety. and so i just wanted to be creative. not crafty. i'm burying the lead. here it is. i have always loved a good project. and now i've gone crafty. there's no way around it. i guess creative and crafty can coexist. but right now i am 100% crafty. it's inspired by my toddlers. toddler crafts. i can't get enough. pom poms. glue sticks. pipe cleaners. crayons in colors that never existed in my day, like robin egg's blue. (we would call it tiffany blue but no one asked me when they were naming crayon colors and, ok, it's better for kids to identify with bird eggs than a luxury jewelry store. i guess.), almond, and scarlet. all breath-taking. um, i find crayola crayons breath-taking. i know. what's going on? i went absolutely nutso over making pre-pre-school valentines. we were all sick. we were all cooped up. we needed a project. i was like "whatever! there's only 8 kids in the class! it'll be a breeze!" then i stopped dead in my tracks at the craft store. um. i have 2 kids. did anyone know that? they cannot under any circumstance give valentines from both of them! they're individuals! those other pre-pre-schoolers are expecting to bring home 7 valentines! and by God they will. so we had to make 16 valentines. lots of cutting paper hearts. various colors, various sizes. then googly eyes. then pipe cleaners for added flair. C and R mostly just slapped hearts on the glue. and picked where to put the eyes. even though they all fell off 3 days later. 32 googly eyes. staring at me. i think they're pretty damn cute. creative AND crafty. apparently the valentines amped up my adrenaline and when a friend was talking about this cutest dress she saw that she thought she could make. i heard a little hallelujah. so off i went to get a pattern for what the pattern people were telling me was the easiest dress ever. evah. like R could make it herself. here's where my lack of craftasticness comes in. i can't follow directions. like, it's impossible. i usually read directions after my plan that i made up in my head takes a wrong turn. it's a backup plan. not directions. the thing with sewing a kind of have to do what they tell you. they're not the boss of me! needless to say. it was more craptastic than craftastic. so i just jumped ship and made my own damn dresses. creative. not crafty. i don't know what's next. creative or crafty? we'll see. i'm pretty sure i've got glitter in my near future. crafty. but maybe we'll call sidewalk chalk "pastels" instead. creative. and as far as the whole "it's cheaper to make it yourself rather than purchase it already made." that's crap. and not craptastic. it's just crap. we would have been fine with $3 dora valentines from target. and we would have been fine with $40 dresses from ebay. but then we wouldn't have had crafty and creative projects. so without further ado (or adieu, if you like)...
all patternless. creative. and a little crafty.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

that's so funny, i forgot to laugh

i used to have giggle fits. laughing fits. like uncontrollable laughter resulting in tears and difficulty breathing. ever since i was little. and it would be over something totally random. and not that funny to other people, apparently. so i would giggle fit all by myself. but because i was too busy laughing, i didn't care that i was going solo. it has lessened and lessened over the years. but every once in a while, it will still hit me. it was bad news bears back in like the 7th grade when teachers would reward me with report cards bearing the number 23. distracts others. (also got 22. excessive talking. no number for excessive laughing). this is oh so not about me though. i give this back story to you today because today my C had a total laughing fit. could not get his sheet together. i should have known it was coming. today our crazy dog had to get his crazy nails clipped by the veterinarian because, as i stated, he is crazy. and we can't get near him with the clippers. nor do i want to. so, he had to come with me to pick the kids up from school. being the conscientious troubleshooter that i am, i got the ball rolling with R and C yesterday. "should gus be in the car when i pick you up from school tomorrow?" (they have seen dogs in other peoples' cars and always love it). R: "OK!" C: laughlaughlaugh "YEAH" laughlaughlaugh. ok. it will be A OK. everyone will love having gus in the car. and love they did. C did. not. stop. laughing. almost the entire 20 minute car ride home. he couldn't stop. oh the joy in a 2-year-old's giggle. it's the best. and i got it for a solid 15 minutes, barring the times he paused to point out important landmarks to gus. "see townlake gus?" "gus, buildings." "struction. gus, see struction? seee it?!" "yes, honey, he sees it. he's just happy to be out smelling some new smells. and he sees it all." resume. laughlaughlaugh. and i thought. oh. my. gosh. he is a total person! well of course he is a total person. but you know when they're babies, they don't seem like real people people. you know? now they are real people people. with feelings and laughter and opinions and emotions. he recently professed his unquantifiable love for me in a rare rescue moment from nighttime slumber. (the kind some parents dread if it happens often and you're not getting any sleep. but i get a lot of sleep. knockknockknock. so this was the kind that makes me sigh and think i want to remember how little he is right now because tomorrow he's not going to be this little). as if i'm not enjoying my rescue moment already he tells me "love you so much." [meltmeltmelt]. and later i ask if he's doing ok to which he says (in a whisper because miraculously R is still sleeping) "happy. i'm happy." and he's so sweet (not just now, but all the time really. like when he cries because R gets her plate taken away from her. she's not crying because her plate got taken away from her. she kind of threw her plate. and that's why it's being taken away. you still have your food. and plate. why are you crying? and i'm not kidding that he will bump into the table and say "oh, excuse me table" with absolutely no hint of scarcasm) anyway, he's just sweet. and i have this split second picture of him in 15 years holding a boom box (because he would totally go old school like that) over his head out someone's window. he's that guy. as long as he can keep from laughing. that might ruin the moment.