Thursday, May 14, 2009

mr. robot-o

word to the wise: don't teach your kids songs that A. you don't really know the words to, and B. contain words in another language (ie., when you find out the words you didn't know, it turns out you cannot pronounce them.) they're not in english. this is not a learning opportunity for my kids (or I) to learn a new language. that's what dora is for. how can anyone think of anything but "Mr. Roboto" when you see a robot? what else is there? the song just leaped from my lips. "do do do do do doh Mis-ter Robot-o" C and R caught onimmediately. "what's the other song?" asked C. translation: what are the words? what are the words to the song besides do do do do doh and Mister and Roboto? we got that. what else is there? mommy mental note was made. look. up. words. it should be harmless enough and if it gets raunchy i can just change the words like i did for rebel rebel by david bowie (ie., instead of "hot tramp i love you so" i simply insert a real kid's name for the "hot tramp" part. done and done. none the wiser. and before you go thinking i am crazy for introducing this song, i need you to know that the words "rebel rebel your face is a mess" also leaped from my lips one time long ago with the introduction of food. i didn't exactly plan it out. i'm sure you understand. and let us not forget how i saved the falling baby by changing the words of "rock-a-bye baby." true humanitarian.). so back to my robot-o lyrical blunder..."domo arigato, mister roboto." thankyouverymuch. literally. it means thank you. in japanese. maybe this is a learning opportunity for my kids (and me)! except. they didn't stop there. damn that styx. as if cursing our world with songs like "lady" and "come sail away" wasn't bad enough. "domo arigatou o-hima dedomo arigatou himitsu wo shiritai domo arigatou." um...shittake. what am i supposed to do with that? i just got domo arigato down. now this? apparently when mr. robot-o has time, styx would like to know what his secret is. (loose translation. by me.). and then it occurred to me. OMG WHYHAVEISPENTTHISAMOUNTOFTIMEONSTYXLYRICS? seriously. cultural enrichment aside. so here we are. i will choose my songs more carefully. i will make sure i know the lyrics. i will try to keep lyrics from leaping. i will try. suddenly i am thinking that R and C probably think i also don't know the words to that police song i keep singing to them. "da do do do da da da da." no really. that's it.
i found mr. robot-o like this in the dining room. apparently he needed a diaper change. domo arigato.

Monday, May 4, 2009

parting is such sweet sorrow

or is it? i used to have to hide from my kids when i was, say, in the kitchen and they were in the living room. they couldn't see me. or the MAAAMAAAAHHHH (while standing behind bars, ie. gate, with their little fingers clenched). would ensue. it. was. torture. for all of us. and sometimes when i leave, even now, there are tears. and sadness. it makes me feel terrible. like i'm abandoning them. even though we just spent the last 11 hours together for the day, i am now abandoning them. um, with. their. father. i'm pretty sure they're ok. and i'll be back! i promise! i always come back! don't they understand?! it's sadness. and then, sometimes, it's not. and i'm all "what the H?" R just said "big hug" and C just said "bye mommy!" a little too enthusiastically. don't they love me? won't they miss me? why are they not crying and blubbering that i am leaving? hello i'm abandoning you! be sad! cry! show a little emotion!
bipolar, much? (me, not them. they appear to be chemically centered, barring the occasional 2.5 year-old-melt).
i don't think it's long before R packs my bag for me and scoots me out the door. thanks for playing. unless i just jinxed myself and from here on after there will be epic meltdowns and i won't be able to leave the house ever at which point i'll post another blog entry about how i am a prisoner in my own house. i mentioned bipolar didn't i?

p.s. if someone is going to pack my bag, can this be it?