barium is the new lead

so melissa and doug has become my go-to. when the lead paint freakout of 2008 started and every plastic everything started getting recalled, i went wooden. even though wood still gets painted. with paint with lead in it. bygones. plus i like the way wooden toys look. i came across a recall notice in canada for a melissa and doug toy we have. stackable train. i called the number. here is my best recollection of the conversation that followed.

let's call her "melissa."

melissa: melissa and doug greeting blahdity blah blah

me: hi. i'm calling about a recall notice on the stackable train.

melissa: oh. that is like a year old.

me: well my kids have been playing with it for the last year and i just found out about the recall.

melissa: what's the blahdity blah blah number.

me: number.

melissa: well your train was not in the bad batch. so it's fine.

me: well what was wrong with the other ones? something toxic in the paint?

melissa: barium. it's totally fine. they actually give it to people [me thinking: um yeah. if your going to get an xray. not if you're going to a playdate]. and your kid would have to eat 45 trains in order for it to be a problem.

me: ok. well that's a lot of trains to eat.

melissa: yeah. so i would say, you know, if you're kid is hungry, try a cookie.

me thinking: not a melissa and doug cookie. those will help you in an xray situation but otherwise will kill you.

me actually: nervous laugh.

end scene.

this is not normal. this is not a normal interaction. right? what do i do? ban melissa and doug toys from my home? they're kind of taking over the joint. what's worse? the barium paint or the customer snarkice?

p.s. customer snarkice is the new buzz phrase. feel free to use it but make sure you cite me.

bring your train!