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Thursday, March 25, 2010

i am not the next american idol

holy hell i haven't posted on here since the end of january and i just checked my google analytics and like 3 people have been checking this blog at least once a year and i had like 2 unmoderated comments and i am a blogger. fail.

with no good reason because i'm still holding on to those beloved naps. i could blog during naps right? wait a second. don't even think about jinxing this one, universe. you cannot take the naps away. you. can. not. period. double period. i really mean it. so what if i have to sing my pre-schoolers to sleep every single day? so what if it sometimes takes THIRTY minutes? so what? so what. i get at least an hour of peace and quiet and aloneness. and you know what? i'm not a particularly talented singer so when else will i have the stage and have requests thrown at my feet. true story. somewhat recently R heard cat power on the radio and asked "Is that mommy singing?" i sound nothing like cat power. nothing. i couldn't even sneeze like cat power. but. but someone (two someones) wants to hear me sing. and someone (two someones) want me to hang out with them until they are asleep. and that someone (two someones) soon enough is going to think i am categorically destroying their cool. or their game. or their fun. or their something else that children think their parents destroy for them. and so i'm hanging on. i'm enjoying my 10 maybe 25 minutes of auditioning for fake ellen degeneres', making the wrong song choices of "goodnight sweetheart" (didn't bring anything new to it) and "you've got a friend" (didn't engage the audience).

so i've also been planning an overprogrammed summer since we will not have school. omg we won't have school. and i do mean we. because we all benefit from school. first of all C and R are in big time LOVE with school. i mean big. i mean they don't want to leave. today i bribed them out of school with fruit snacks. mom of the year. but it was the first truly successful, seamless departure from school EVER. so cost-benefit analysis is win. i keep telling myself this is a good problem to have. lots of kids hate school. they cry when parents drop them off. who wants to leave a crying, sappy sad puddle of mush, crying "moommmmyyyyy! please don't le-eave me-eee." i know because i had a few of those (one or two or twenty) in the early days. but hey, it's great when they're all "why can't we go to school every single day? it's more fun at school. school is more fun than home. school is more fun than you. school is better than you. we hate you." those aren't direct quotes but i'm pretty sure that's what they said. and that's why they run away from me when i go to pick them up. and sometimes there are tears (happened this week). and sometimes there are parking booties down on the asphault in the school parking lot (happened this week. different kid. not the crying kid.). so, hey a whole summer of no school. should be delightful! so i'm intentionally overprogramming them. hey, apple doesn't fall far. they'll be able to keep up. they'll get color-coded planners. correction: they'll design and craft and utilize color-coded planners. or they'll just run amok and be so happy they're not stuck in the clink. i mean our house. because you know it is only nice outside for 2 weeks where we live. and we're on week two right now. so we have to seize the opportunity for outdoor fun before the sun's scorchy rays seize and singe and make us slather sunscreen so we can walk to the mailbox to get the mail. cross fingers. please be something good. make it worth the sunscreen and heat. maybe anthropologie catalog? or dsw reward? or a nice bottle of pinot noir?

please, universe dear universe, let us keep our sacred naps through the summer. if not for me. for my people. my fans. p.s. will this fit in my mailbox?

2 comments:

Austin Aunt said...

I vote for naps for at least 2 more years!

Amber Lena said...

You are NOT a blogger fail. You're just busy. With twins. And life. You're on my RSS feed so keep posting!!