nanny nanny boo boo

whew it's been a little while. well pardon me while i was on vaycay. actually, i went to see family. which many people feel is the antithesis to vacation. but mine was kind of vacationy. i mean i got on an airplane with only one small personal item, a vanity fair (not embarrassing), and an US weekly (slightly embarrassing) and only had my little bad self to worry about. that in and of itself is a vacation. i also doped up on tylenol PM and popped in earplugs and slept until 9 am. but, um, i missed my kids. a lot. especially being around my loved ones little loved ones. i know they would have had so much fun. while my spouse was home(not)alone, he took R and C to a festival where he was fascinated by a couple with their nanny. and it really got me thinking. no offense to nannies. or people who have nannies. (p.s. whenever someone begins something by saying "no offense" it basically means i'm about to offend you. and i'm just saying "no offense" so i can feel better about myself for offending you.). but here i go anyway. i just don't want a nanny (understand that i am not gainfully employed elsewhere). and even in the old days. i wouldn't want someone else to make the bottles. i can make the bottles. yes, i'm tired. i can still make them. know what? they don't get bottles anymore. in the scheme of things, the bottle-making time period was a blip on the radar. and i didn't die from exhaustion. it's kind of the only nutrition/sustenance to enable kind of important things like, i don't know, growth. brain development. life. i'll make them myself. what's the big? what else would i need a nanny for...helping me at a festival? why? i just don't feel like anything is too difficult to do myself or to do with teamwork from my spouse, who said "what about laundry?" and i thought. um, i kind of have a system. and i'm not overwhelmed by laundry. it gets done. and it gets done the way i want it. and, how long will i get to foldhold teeny tiny clothes, anyway? they're already not so teeny tiny as they were before. blip. so, no. "what about dishes?" hmm. same thing. kind-of. wait a minute. dishes would be ok. hmm. vacuuming floors would be ok. cleaning my house would be ok. so no, i don't want a nanny. turns out i want a housekeeper. you don't have to touch the kids. you don't even have to like the kids. you do have to like a dog. i'll go to the grocery store (alone with my kids, no help necessary) and you stay here and do the dishes and vacuum the floors and clean the house. and you have to get the tops of the door frames (everyone forgets those). the things that a nanny could do, i'm sort of attached to. it's ok for someone else to do them every once in a while but i just feel like time goes by sofast. and i don't want to lose any of it. i feel no attachment to my toilets, however.

editorial note: i'm between computers and using windows 98 so thus, no photo here.
it took me 24 minutes to upload this post.