you are how you eat

or something like that. you know...sometimes people ask me if R and C are like the same person, since they are twins, or they ask which one is the "fill in the blank" one. like, "who's the shy one?" (neither), "who's the flirty one?" (both), "who's the loud one?" (depends on day, hour, minute, second). of course there are many differences. they are different kids. they didn't even share an amniotic sac for cripe's sake. never has it been more clear that these two are different than at meal times. they definitely have distinct, let's call it, styles. C pounds away at the food. doesn't matter what kind. doesn't matter how big. doesn't matter if it were spam and jalepeno bits covered with a chocolate hoseradish sauce (hope my pregnant friends aren't reading this one). shovel. shovel. shovel. shovel. there's no looking. there's no breathing. it kind of freaks me out. doesn't he care what he's eating? i mean thank God he trusts me, but have a little discretion here, dude. then there's R. quite the different picture. she takes a moment when the food is first delivered to assess the situation. i usually give the item she will like the least first, thinking of the old "if she's really hungry, she'll eat" mentality. she's on to me. she waits for the second or third menu item to be delivered before making a move. so, peas and corn arrive first. pause. sometimes complaining. chicken nuggets arrive second. pause. maybe i'll eat one. cheese bits appear third. this is what i'm talking about. this is what i've been waiting for. she removes those itty bitty cheese bits with a surgeon's precision. it is amazing. so she's basically on a cheese diet right now. thank God lactose treats her right. but she needs a little greenery and meatery (just made that up) every now and then. i mean, did she read in cosmo that this was the new hollywood diet? now i've become obsessed (one of about 16 current obsessions).

you see, in all of my great wisdom, there were things i thought about prior to the babies' arrivals that i was going to be responsible for: changing diapers, holding, kissing, burping, hugging, smiling, dressing, talking all goo-goo-ga-ga, cpr if necessary, bathing, heimlich maneuver (i want you to know i spelled that correctly on the first try) if necessary, singing (see first post), reading, safety and security whathaveyou, feeding. oh yeah, feeding. i knew i was going to give breastfeeding a go and if it crashed there would be bottles involved. we now are done with both. now we're on to the big stuff. sippies, whole milk, delectable items such as grilled cheese (my personal fav), green beans, cheese bits, bananas, cheese quesadillas, peas, corn, have i mentioned cheese? being new at this mom stuff, i did not thoroughly think through the intense nature of the responsibility of being the sole provider of nourishment and nutrition to two human beings (one canine too but he gets the same thing everyday with very minimal prep). keep in mind, i have never exactly been stellar in providing my own nourishment and nutrition. i am kind of known for my lack of food interest. in my working-outside-of-the-home days, i could easily get by on 1.5 meals per day. i wasn't a bad eater. i ate good stuff. nutritious. food just wasn't a priority. as my dear friend once said, some people live to eat. you eat to live. true. ok i do have a few foods that i live for...mostly things made by my mother, who still ships me care packages thank you very much. and then there is super delicious sushi and most things involving cheese and prosciutto-wrapped most things (converted me from vegetarianism) and good coffee and good red wine. wait. those last two are beverages. see what a food loser i am? now...whew food is a serious priority (still not for me, but for R and C, definitely). never before did i stop to think if i hit all the major food groups in a day, let alone in one meal. now, i am obsessed with food preparation and distribution. for me a perfect day is: milk in sippies, milk in oatmeal mixed with applesauce, chicken with green beans and corn and pears. water. spinach and cheese quesadillas (can i hide scrambled eggs in there? yes.) and bananas. water. all food groups: check! my mind never stops thinking about their food. consequently, my previous 1.5 meals a day may be a generous assessment at this point. i usually eat R and C's leftovers. if there are any. sometimes i actually make something for myself (like aforementioned burrito...previous previous post) and get to eat it. sometimes when my spouse comes home, i like to recount my meals for the day. i usually bank two meals per day but that's only if i get to count my nordstrom's decaf non-fat no-whipped mexican mocha (mexican hot chocolate meets coffee. dee-lightful) as one meal. but if i do eat anything in my home, i have to hide it from C and R. do other people have to hide food from your kids? i have to hide what i am eating because the little venus flytraps want it. if it's something non-cheeselike R will act like she wants it and then promptly spit it out, however. most of the time i sacrifice my food for their betterment but with the occasional mini mint milano, i'm not giving that one up. get your own.

and can we discuss where we now dine out (keep in mind we definitely went through the "why did we think this was a good idea?" when we went out between months 11 and 15 [and sometimes now still] because at times dining out is an olympic sport. and we don't even get to eat. or we eat so fast we feel like we didn't eat. stressful.)? we've never really been the fine dining couple but as a foursome we are scraping the bottom of the restaurant barrel. here are our requirements for dining out, in order of importance: 1. other kids present, 2. high chairs present, 3. loud, 4. something one-year-olds can eat, 5. no white tablecloths, 6. food on floor acceptable, 7. well-lit, 8. quick, 9. not "college-y". this generally lands us at places where i would never have chosen to dine in my previous life. i actually ate cheese fries for the first time last month. i drink high fructose corn syrup caffeinated coca-cola to get myself through some bad meals. nachos. cole slaw. veggie burgers. chips and salsa. pizza. gelato. my stomach just turned writing this. if you truly are what (how) you eat, what does this make me? i'm on a sandra/keanu speedy bus to: first stop, Artery-Clogging High Cholesterol City. second stop, Lose All The Baby Weight At Four Months Only To Gain It All Back At 16 Months Town. make it stop! make it stop! p.s. did you like how this post started off about my kids and i just made it all about me?


all mine