Monday, March 31, 2008

don't cry for me, argentina

today "barney" made C cry. what does that have to do with argentina or evita? nothing. i'm focusing on the "cry" part here. go with me. (p.s. i so wish i was talking about barney from "how i met your mother," but, unfortunately, i'm not). so, today "barney," of peculiar dinosaur fame, made C cry. there are so many questions that stem from this statement, aren't there? number one, why would C ever be watching "barney" in the freaking first place? number two, when you say "today" that makes it sound like this barney-viewing was not a flukey one day event. number three, why is he watching television in the first place, haven't you heard about the recommendations from the american pediatric smarties to not let your children watch television before the age of two? (stop lecturing me). here's where it gets worse. i very much disagreed with the crying. like, the moment of cry. okay, my kids like "barney." i can't help it. when i had to feed both of them at once, prior to the development of shoveling and/or carefully self-feeding, i had to keep them occupied. i was not fast enough for them. i'll admit it. i'm not proud, damnit! but there are two of them! and they're hungry! whew, guess i haven't worked that mommy-guilt out quite yet but who has time for therapy? anywho. as i was saying, the television-viewing began at about six months of age and now it keeps them content in the eight seconds it takes me to get the food from the prep area to the high chair trays. so, the lesser of the television evils, believe it or not, i decided was public television. that includes "barney." here's my only "barney" defense...there are kids, like real, live kids, on the show. my kids love kids. don't yours? they could just stare at kids all day. granted these kids are most likely little actor kids with crazy stage moms and they're going to grow up to be like britney but what can i do about that? that's somebody else's mommy-guilt. so now that i've defended "barney," let me tell you about why i was disturbed at C's designated moment of tears. there was this little fake robot (wait, are there real robots?) on the television, with "barney." that doesn't sound that bad. but the "robot" and "barney" were doing the robot! like the dance, the robot! you know, the robot! please tell me you know. i think it's from the 70's, although i bet 80's lovers try to claim it as their own. why is he crying at the robot dance? keep in mind he did not cry at said robot alone and standing. just when he started dancing. hello, it's a great dance! that creepy "barney" song about love and family? cry! cry! but please don't cry for the robot dance! that makes me sad! what is the world coming to? first, i think why is "barney" doing the robot? then, i'm like, wait, i actually like that "barney" is doing the robot. that's the coolest i've ever seen barney. then, i'm pained that C does not appreciate this little nugget of pop culture. pop culture of the past appreciation is rapidly on the decline. in my generation "don't cry for me argentina" from the great andrew lloyd webber musical, sung by madonna in the cinematic adaptation, later that year was turned into a gushgushgushgush (you have to do that like you're at a club, or abercrombie & fitch, same thing) dj song. ah, it all comes full circle.

i like this barney better


RowdyGirls said...

Awe...wait for it... SOME! I fell off my pedestal when my girls took to the creepy baby-in-sun on Teletubbies. Oh the shame.

betty said...

that baby makes my kids giggle every time. after the sun, i change the channel. probably to barney.

Smooch said...

H&L's dinner is getting cold as they are watching some Baby Signs dvd which is basically Baby Einstein meets ASL. I'm not interrupting silence with dinner. At least not until it gets closer to DAT (daddy arrival time).

Amy said...

My kids LOVE other kids. I often think parenting would be easier if I had an older child at home. IT would DEFINITELY keep the twins entertained for a while.

Do you have On Demand, or is that just a local thing? If you go to On Demand, then Baby Boost, then Baby Genius, they have these 12-minute Nursery Rhyme segments. The babies are MESMORIZED, and it gives me a minute to, like, unload the dishwasher or put on some mascara. And the best thing is, it's NOT BARNEY. :)