Thursday, April 24, 2008

bargain hunting

i've always loved a good bargain. having kids has made me appreciate it even more. i found the best way to bargain hunt. shoplift. that's right. the first time it happened i laughed. i thought, "well it was bound to happen at some point." diaper pail deodorizer from bed bath and blah blah. i can't use a cart. so i have to stash items in the stroller basket. little diaper pail deodorizer didn't make it to the counter. don't worry. the nicole miller quilt did. i didn't discover said stolen deodorizer until the kids were already snapped in to their carseats. i actually paused and contemplated going back in. but with a quick cost-benefit analysis...i stole it. it was like $3. not that i'm advocating stealing. or that stealing is okay if it is a small-ticket item. but i'm just saying. it wasn't the nicole miller quilt. then, the second time, was a t-shirt. C was my accomplice. ok he did it, actually, but who's pointing fingers here? i gave him the shirt to "hold." and he held it. right out of the babies r' monopoly. this time i discovered it after only one kid was already snapped in to her carseat, R. C was chilling in the stroller with the hot merchandise. playing it cool to not look suspicious. blast. i'm not going back in. damn shirt. i'll tell them i (we) stole it next time i go in. third time. seriously. now i am a habitual offender. no more "i've never done that before" excuse. batteries. now i've hit the mother load. $10 worth of batteries smuggled into the depths of the stroller basket. you know target is so crazy now they'll probably scan me the next time i go in and know i stole the batteries. i've decided (read: justified) that if i unknowingly steal merchandise then it is not wrong. but i know it's still wrong. and i know i could get our booties back in the store once i discover my "score." the crazimania (just made that up) of getting all three of us and our packages (of paid-for-merchandise) out to the car is sometimes an accomplishment in and of itself. now i have to add "check the stroller baskets - again" to my getting out of the store alive list. blast. i didn't even steal a pack of gum back in the day. doesn't everyone at least steal a pack of gum at some point in their childhood? not me. and look what i've become.
it's not like i stole this.


Dawn said...

I've totally done this, especially at the grocery store. Twin stroller shopping has one small perk!

RowdyGirls said...

Have done this, too! A picture frame. and I did not go back in, either! It was on sale. $3. That store has overcharged me a meelion times. We're not even close to being even stevens.

P.S. my word verific. is "ppzppfu" That reads like a toddler in meltdown curse phrase, I think.

Jenny said...

Ahh yes. I too am guilty. I stole the motherload though... shoes from Stride Rite. And those puppies ain't cheap! Happened like this... they were placed on the stroller canopy (in extended position) whilst comparing other options in the store. J started having a FIT, so I folded canopy back to give some breathing room. (Shoes are now folded and concealed in the canopy.) FIT escalates, so we bolt out of the store. 3 stores later, notice the shoes when I extended canopy again. ARGH!!! Am horrified and looking for rent-a-cops who must be looking frantically for me and my $50 loot. But no one is looking. Still, I feel bad, so I waltz back into the store, place back on the shelf and leave again. No one is the wiser. But don't feel bad that I actually returned the hot shoes, I only have 1 kid and we were still in the vicinity. You would have done the same, I know. Maybe when I get my double stroller, I will "bargain hunt" too with my XL basket! Is it wrong that i just got excited about the prospect??

Smooch said...

We stole an old navy sweatshirt that a twin was "holding" I got ALL the way across the parking lot and one twin in the car before I found it, so I said I would pay for it next time. That tag was in my wallet for a few weeks, but disappeared. I also made an unauthorized size exchange at REI after waiting in line to do it only to find I was in the wrong line and had to go back to customer service where 10 people were standing (it was post-holiday). Is it better b/c I didn't actually take anything or worse b/c I did it on purpose?