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Friday, April 4, 2008

cop a squat

i'm so proud. i'm sure my parental proud moments will be a-plenty. but i definitely had one. i mean i've had several so far but this one is a winner. like with many great achievements, at first i was in disbelief. i hate when people bury the lead, although i do it often, so here it is: R copped a squat. that's right. dropped trou (did you know that saying "dropped trou" is short for "dropped trousers?" aside.). so she dropped trou. that's my girl. and peed. on the floor. now i know she seems to take after me in many ways and i don't want to act like i, myself, have never copped a squat, but it's not exactly a frequent activity of mine. i have done it though. and not just in honorable times like on the way home from an alternative spring break community service trip due to 20 non-stop hours in a van. there are some unhonorable mentions in there too. none within the last five years. oops, there was that one. none within the last three years. for sure. so, we sometimes let the kids free-range roam (and not like in a nicer to chickens before we kill them even though we still kill them at least they led better lives kind of way). whoever gets the first bath of the evening typically gets a free-range roam around their room. they get to pick out their pajamas. they get to watch me pick up toys. they get air on their naked bootie to prevent any rashings, etc. it's a good time. the other night was R's free-range roam time. truth be told, they're not that interested in what pajamas they get to wear on any particular evening. so i went ahead and made an executive decision on the jammies. p.s. this is the extent of my executive decisions nowadays. i used to make very important, fiscally impactful, life or death (not really) executive decisions. now. i pick out pajamas. anyway, back to R. as i was perusing the pajamas (hey, i take my executive decisions very seriously. they have to wear that outfit for 14 hours), i noticed my ladylike ladybug, R, cop a squat. the trou dropped. i thought "that's a funny way to sit" and by sit i meant squat. then it happened. she peed. while copping said squat, she peed. like she was in an ally at 2:15 am outside a bar with nowhere else to pee and she was desperate. she had like 17 glasses of wine. damnit she had to go. now! wait. sorry. flashing back. unlike a person who would do such a thing as i just described (but i have no idea who would do something so dreadful) R was careful. didn't get any pee on her little feet even. there was a lot of pee too. but i couldn't interrupt her. i didn't want the pee to travel. in a quick cost-benefit analysis, there was going to be pee on the floor. i would prefer it stay in one little area, rather than trickled throughout because i interrupted her. you pee your little heart out, honey. i did address her, however. "are you peeing? are you going potty?" she looked at me. she continued. pee. pee. pee. i'm telling you. it was a long pee. we could have had a whole conversation. if she spoke real words. so the peeing is over. i scooped her up and headed to the changing table. grinning. i asked her the questions again. "did you go potty?" "did you go pee pee?" (seriously, where did i learn to speak like this? is there some mommy-lingo serum that they slip into your IV when you're in labor?) and then she spoke. "pee-pee." she speaks my mommy-lingo. it was kind of more like "peeeee-peeeee." is it weird to be proud of this moment? she copped a squat and peed and i firmly believe she processed the whole thing. more importantly, is this a positive sign for my future potty-training days? she already knows what she's doing? OR is this a tragically terrible sign for my future R is outside the bar at 2:15 am and really has to pee days? only time will tell.

3 comments:

RowdyGirls said...

No pee on her feet?! I bow to the master.

Andrew said...

There are simply too many things I could comment on here, but I will pick one.

PJ's is your only executive decision now-a-days? Since I am not making any either, how does anything operate at our house?

We need to get someone on this. Pronto. Gus doesn't seem to be busy, maybe he could help.

Austin Aunt said...

That's my Reese! For this, she gets more presents from the most fashionable stores in SoHo!