happy mother's day from vegas

woo hoo! um, i'm going to vegas for mother's day? am i britney spears or what? let me explain. i'm not going to vegas for mother's day. my spouse is going to vegas for mother's day. well, not for mother's day but the weekend he is going happens to include mother's day. now before you get all "you need to get to marriage counseling stat" on me, we chose the date together. it just seemed like a good weekend. and we can celebrate my day another day. doesn't have to be on the day. i mean, C and R weren't planning to get up early and make me breakfast in bed, eggs florentine with coffee and mini croissants (all food is better to me if it is mini) with strawberry butter (but i'm psyched for the day they do). they didn't have their little hearts set on unveiling their finger painting masterpiece, made especially for mom. by the way, when would they finger paint exactly? i'm not ready for painting with the hands. my house isn't ready for painting with the hands. i already made the "washable" crayons mistake. don't do it. it sounds like a good idea. "go nuts! color your little hearts out! color everything! it washes out!" do you know the problem? what do you think happens to a washable crayon when it gets wet? i ask this question to you because i should have asked this question to myself prior to unleashing said washable crayons. here is the answer: when a washable crayon gets wet (ie. wet from saliva, ie. saliva from someone's mouth) it's a big freaking mess. it's crayon everywhere. crayonstravaganza (just made that up). and even though you can wash all of the crayoned (real word) surfaces. you don't want to. and the surfaces also include faces and teeth and hair and sometimes even babies' faces and teeth and hair. ok, back to me and my day. other than sleeping in, i have no mother's day needs. and i'm pretty sure we can arrange for sleeping in on another day. and we will, believe me. last year we went to brunch and it was a pretty normal day (one of the last photos of me holding them both at the same time. def not happening this year. hard enough to push them in the double jogger). a friend asked what i was doing on mother's day last year and i was like, duh. i'm hanging out with my kids. he said "that's so 1950's of you." what am i supposed to do on mother's day? not hang out with my kids? that seems like the antithesis of mother's day to me. i guess the sleeping in technically means i am not hanging out with my kids. but it's not like i'm going to a spa. going to spa, while delightful, seems inappropriate on mother's day. so instead of not hanging out with my kids on mother's day, i'm going the polar opposite. i'm hanging out with them for 96 hours straight. i like extremes. by the end of mother's day they will be sick of me. they might wonder why there is even a mother's day in the first place. all of a sudden i feel like they're 15. they're bummed they have to spend mother's day weekend alone with me. so not cool. they want to go to the beach with their friends' families and celebrate their friends' mothers. they want to go to vegas with their dad and leave me home alone on mother's day. now i'm starting to rethink all of this. i knew i shouldn't have dressed them in those "vegas baby" onesies.

bad idea

worse idea