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Monday, October 6, 2008

move

i think we're getting to the point where i feel that every day is a "kids say the darndest things" submission in some cheezy magazine. like, oh that was so funny when your daughter said "purple panties." and don't act like your husband wasn't wearing them. or how about when you said your son told you to "eat more chocolate, mama." oh yeah. that really totally happened. but i feel it happening. like when R called my boobs "balls." i feel it's going to get worse. i feel within moments of a good "you should stop singing now" or a "leave me alone" or how about a "i remember that time you almost lost me in a bookstore and i'm not over it." i know this sassiness is enroute. and i want to stop the presses. "move." oh i must not have heard that right. even though he was attempting to move my leg as he said it. "move." nope. i heard it. my not-even-two-year-old just told me to move. oh i'm sorry. i was blocking your view of my stunning stylish elmo bandaid that i wore publicly unknowing the public display because i have no other bandaids or other necessities in this house that do not pertain to your utter pleasing. i admit i totally laughed. i couldn't help it. i started to think...where did he hear such a thing? who is responsible for such disrespect? i never say "move" to my children. but wait. my former child, now sometimes nemesis, the dog. i totally tell him to "move." every day. several times a day. he huddles around the high chairs for any delectable or even heinous morsel and he gets in my way. he's huge. he has to move! note to self: watch language towards dog around children. i knew this would happen. they say this happens. thank God C only copied "move." i'm sure there has been far worse than that. take the "move" kid. and run with it. it's better than "m-er f-er." (p.s. i say it exactly like that. not censoring for family-friendly blogosphere). or "punk-ass." (p.s. that one is real too). so all in all, i'll take "move" as a copy. i'll also take R's copy today of "bummer." i'm pretty sure we're about to up the anty on the sassafrass. i'll keep you posted with my parent's magazine mykidissomuchfunniersmarterthanyourkid entries.

2 comments:

Smooch said...

Oh, wow. Get ready. I have heard; "go away" "stop it" one has said the F word. Not my proudest moment. I am now yelling, "stinker" at obnoxious drivers. And one of their funnest things to do is to run in and slap my "bum bum" when I'm getting dressed. They laugh hysterically, probably at my stretch marks. Evil things.

austinaunt said...

That sweet Gus would never get in the way......