sometimes "shh" doesn't work. just fyi.

you know how there is always that one kid. running recklessly through the aisles at top speed. screeching (note: screeching, not screaming. screeching. there's a difference.), arms flailing. screeching peppered with bouts of gleeful laughter. today there were two of them. at. the. library. on a non-story time-so-normal-adult-people-are-here-so they can, you know, read-day. um, did you guess? and. they. were. mine. we might not be allowed back. and the hell to the no broke loose while i was checking out books. so i'm on record. they know what we did this summer. i utilized eloquent parenting tactics, such as time-out, once we got safely outside. ahem. "safely" because i finally caught the little buggers and stopped them from running directly under moving vehicular tires in the parking lot. really they were just going to run right to a moving car to see if they could fit their little bodies under there. i just know it. and seriously. who drives a hummer anymore? save the environment, people. drive a suburban. and why are you even at the library, mr. hummer (you know it's a dude)? buy the damn book. probably some bratty less than zero teenager that parked there so he didn't have to walk so far to the high school. which he was late for. because he is too cool (and too high. ahem.) to get to school on time. helloooooo digress. once time-out is over (why did i ever let them get off that bench once i had them sitting there? why? WHY?!) they immediately pick up right where they left off. running amok. A.M.O.K. effective. pull. grab. "james spader is about to run your asses over." they're not listening. but i'm listening. that sounds like...rain. it hasn't freaking rained in 4 months. but it's raining now. dear father in heaven let me get these kids safely to the car where it's dry and safe. so i can lock them into seats. click. click. click. aaaaaamen.

photo copyright my local library