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Saturday, June 14, 2008

st. john's not (wort)h it

whew last week i was a serious biotch. nothing in particular. no pre-meditated meanness. no name calling (not even "biotch"). not even the somewhat regular roadrage [insert high pitched voice and shaking finger (no, no, pointer finger) "you're a very bad driver, mister." i was just in a bad mood. you may have noticed from my last few posts that i have been a thrilling combination of tired and sick. and for me tired+sick=crabby. "crabby cakes" as i like to call my darling darlings when they are a little testy. i was also with my mother. a lot. now don't get me wrong here. don't go assuming. i do not have one of those mothers who drives even mary poppins over the building without her umbrella. my mother is the mother everyone wishes they had. the one you want to be when you grow up. but you know how when you are sick and tired your mother becomes the target? she's the target because you have her. it's easy. you know she loves you. you know she's got your back. you know she knows it's not really "you" to be so biotchy (is that a word? wait, is "biotch" even a word?). so anyway, my mother got the brunt. and in unmitigated true momness, she offered guidance in ever so subtle fashion. her version of ever so subtle fashion was recommending mood enhancers for my biotchiness (word or made up?). we're not talking about some stuff i would have to get from the high schoolers. she was suggesting the st. john's wort. i blew it off the first couple (or 9 or 6000) times she mentioned it. and she tried different entry points. "your dad and i have tried it," "it's just a vitamin," etc. i wasn't biting. i was fine being biotchy. afterall i had just traveled a great distance with two toddlers and hadn't left their side for more than two hours in eight days. but who's counting? fast forward a few days when i've returned to my natural habitat. on the phone. FORTHELOVEOFGOD SWEETJESUS I'LLTAKETHEDAMNVITAMIN. but before i do. let me just hop on that new internets thing and see what i'm getting in to. any side effects? any drug interactions? FORTHELOVEOFGOD SWEETJESUS ITREDUCESTHEEFFECTOFORALCONTRACEPTIVES. and, we're done here. i kind of like my birth control pill. mainly because it controls birth. well, conception. and i mean this as no negative reflection on my precious babes (who are amazing and would make anyone run out and pop a few st. john's worts to counteract their birth control pills), but i'm done. donezo. done and done. i knew pretty soon after they were born but i waited to really decide. and i really decided. hello this blog is called twinstant family. like instant family. like family, done. i want to say it's not tied to the whole girl and boy added to our family which plays into the crazy expectation from our crazy society of having a girl and a boy or your family is not complete. but maybe it is. the thing is, i just feel great where we are. family of four. five including dog. for me (us) this is perf. so the thought of a new addition really freaks me out. hey if it happens i'll embrace it. as divine intervention. but not if it's st. john's wort intervention. for now i'll just stick to embracing my biotchiness.
sure it looks lovely but no thank you.

2 comments:

Austin Aunt said...

Crabby Cakes! Cole and Reese are never crabby! Those perfect little angels. Welcome home.

RowdyGirls said...

This was a sign from God to me. Research the vitamin/drug/herb! Off to check on Melatonin. Right. now.