yellow outfit + yellow hat + monkey = no dates

it's weird that a man, whose claim to fame is a yellow hat (matching yellow clothing, er ensemble including tie, might i add) has a pet monkey whom he takes everywhere. i don't know why it's worse to me that the man is single (of course he's single). but it is. just him and his monkey. (he and his monkey? bygones) hanging out. they eat at italian restaurants together. they fly airplanes together. they vacation in the country together. wait, are they dating? if he had a significant other it would still be weird. wait maybe that's weirder (i really want "weirder" to be a word but i'm afraid it's not)? i don't know. i think he's in love with that professor woman whose always poking around. regardless. how did it become acceptable for a man who wears the same yellow outfit and hat every day of his life (not that it would be okay if he only chose to wear it, say, one day per month. wearing a yellow outfit is wrong. period. let alone pairing it with a yellow hat) to obtain a pet monkey and bring him everywhere as though george (monkey's name) were tinkerbell (paris hilton's chihuahua, obviously. side note: why do i know this? i know the name of paris hilton's dog, yet not how to spell chichuahua, which i had to look up). why do i care about the man in the yellow hat's social life, or lack thereof? i just know it's been bothering me. maybe he should go on "the bachelor." i see a new series. but who would date a man with a monkey? and a yellow outfit? and a yellow hat? it's a trifecta. for no dates.
p.s. thank everything kathy griffin is back on bravo. analytical review of the man with the yellow hat might mean too much time on my hands.

not even "the bachelor" could save him.